Conversation Guide for Couples

Having a meaningful conversation is an effective way to bond with your spouse.  However, most of us struggle to talk to our partner about anything personal. With this in mind, I developed the Couples Conversation Guide. The questions are intended to deepen relational intimacy and connection. I hope this guide provides you and your partner with loving conversation. 


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Couples Conversation Guide

  • What did it feel like to fall in love with your spouse?
  • What initially attracted you to your spouse?
  • What do you identify or feel is a strength of your relationship?
  • What is an attribute that you admire or respect most about your spouse?
  • Share a time/moment/experience when you felt happy in your relationship and/or connected to your spouse.
  • What is something you’d like to experience/what place would you like to go with your spouse?
  • What is something that you find attractive (body part/attribute/quality) about your spouse?
  • Identify and share one of your biggest fears.
  • What is something that your spouse does/a ways that they best communicate love to you?
  • What is a hope that you have for your relationship?


  • Make the conversation playful by coming up with some fun and flirty rules.
  • Get vulnerable: tell your spouse that you are nervous/scared that you will choke under pressure, or miscommunicate something and accidentally hurt their feelings. People are more forgiving and less likely to get disappointed or hurt when they understand the actual intention behind the words.
  • If it feels comfortable, look into each other’s eyes and touch while you talk.
  • Your spouse is more likely to open up and connect with you if you are curious and refrain from judgment or opinion.


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