April 1, 2020
The “New Normal:” Seeking Connection in the Age of Social Distancing
2020 rang in, as each new year typically does...
Blog
February 21, 2020
Conversation Guide for Couples
Having a meaningful conversation is an effective way to bond with your spouse. However, most of us struggle to talk to our partner about anything personal. With this in mind, I developed the Couples Conversation Guide. The questions are intended to deepen relational intimacy and connection. I hope this guide provides you and your partner with loving conversation. Couples Conversation Guide What did it feel like to fall in love with your spouse? What initially attracted you to your spouse? What do you identify or feel is a strength of your relationship? What is an attribute that you admire or respect most about your spouse? Share a...
February 12, 2020
Valentine’s Day: A Married Couple’s Guide to Gift Giving
In the early days of our relationship, we often celebrate Valentine’s Day with romance and grand gestures. However, in marriage, the day sometimes loses importance and goes by without much celebration. For better or worse, February 14th is a highly publicized national holiday. In this way, when the day passes without distinction or acknowledgement, people often feel disappointed and receive an unspoken message that they are unimportant to their spouse. However, lavish gifts and grand gestures are not required on Valentine’s Day. In fact, in my experience as a marriage counselor, people often express a longing for connection and to hear that they are loved and appreciated...
January 6, 2020
Expanding the Conversation of Miscarriage
I was so emotional and devastated after our first miscarriage that I did not even consider my husband’s own way of grieving. It wasn’t until later, when working with couples, that I began to understand and appreciate that while different, my husband was also deeply affected by the loss of our pregnancy. Opening Up The Conversation Miscarriage wasn’t openly discussed until recently. As a result, there was often discomfort in seeking support and many suffered alone. In the article “Miscarriage: It’s Not Just a Women’s Issue,” Sunita Osborn Psy.D. explains that “while it is beneficial to promote a dialogue around this painfully common issue, there seems to be one very...
January 1, 2020
How to Succeed and Keep Your New Year’s Resolution
Did you set a goal to lose weight or to get organized in the New Year? I recently read that over 80% of those who make New Year’s resolutions fail, despite initial optimism and motivation. The failure rate of this statistic does not sway my optimism in people’s capability. In my work, I am lucky to enough to help people who understand that lasting change requires behavior modification and working on one’s emotional self. Emotional Self For lasting change, it is important to discover where and why negative behavior exists. We all do things for a reason and getting to the ‘heart’ of the matter is a vital element...
November 21, 2019
We Affect Each Other
I had asked Craig and Leslie to walk me through their typical fight. Without blinking, Leslie began explaining that she and Craig don’t share the same priorities. She stated that she does the brunt of the housework, things like emptying the dishwasher, cleaning, and laundry. Craig sat quietly, staring off until Leslie stated that he makes her feel disrespected and unimportant. At the mention of her feelings, Craig came alive. He turned and coldly stated, “I cannot affect the way you feel.” Psychologist Fritz Perls popularized the idea that “no one has or ever will make you feel anything.” This concept has been challenged by Attachment Theory, which...
November 14, 2019
The Reason People Cheat
Cheating is one of the most traumatic and devastating things that can happen in a relationship. Often times, the infidelity is thought to occur because the ‘other person’ is more attractive or successful. In my experience as a marriage and couples therapist, the reason someone cheats typically stems from a lack of connection within the marriage. While disconnection is experienced differently in every relationship, it commonly results in a lack of emotional intimacy. Partners may stop communicating about anything of emotional significance, or one or both might isolate or withdraw. Furthermore, as the distance between spouses grows, one partner might become increasingly angry and frustrated, sending the message...
October 31, 2019
Sacred Space
It is my belief that counseling should be a sacred space. I opened my practice with this sentiment in mind. I have worked to create an environment where couples and individuals can explore emotional wounds and confront obstacles to happiness. As the practice grows, it is my deepest hope that it will act as sacred space where clients can heal, grow and connect. ...